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i'm possibly the cutest person you'll ever meet. also the most shameless.


Saturday, December 11, 2004

Kaftan Girl

Blogging yet again to avoid doing stupid 8 page paper.

Kan ni neh damn hard la!

But I promise I will get to it and finish it tonight, right after dinner and right after I clean my desk.

Anyway, I want to talk about how at least half of the population here at Mt Holyoke are freaks.

There are dozens I could talk about but today we shall merely discuss a stupid girl in my Calc class.

She is always the last one to leave when class is over, because she always always pack up her things damn slowly and stays back to talk to the white-haired professor.

I suspected she is:
(a) secretly in love with him OR
(b) having an affair with him

Reason:  Last week I stayed back to ask the professor why he gave me a lousy 86% for my review test.  The bitch shot me dirty looks and stayed as long as she could without being too obvious before finally heaving her backpack over her shoulder and stomping off.

Anyway, yesterday she came to class wearing a kaftan.

A lurid, bright pink+green+purple swirly batik kaftan.  The kind your mother buys from Haadyai and wears to sleep.

With black patent leather pumps.

She probably thought she looked very exotic and sexy by wearing that because her zipper at her back was half undone and her purple bra was asking the whole world to look at it.

So I was blowing my nose during class.  It's my sinus!  And I was already being very discreet doing so.  Usually my nose-blowing is earth shattering, but this time I was trying to keep it down out of respect to Professor Nelsen who was mumbling to the whiteboard.

Do you know how unsatisfying it is to blow your nose but your snot still stays inside because there is not enough force to push it out?

Anyway, to my surprise, I got a most fascinating reaction everytime I blew my nose.

For every SOFT blow I gave, Kaftan Girl turned around violently in her chair and stared at me with her mouth open and an outraged look on her face.

What's wrong with blowing my nose?  You don't have this bodily function wan ar?  Hello, I'm not the one who comes to class with her zipper down.

Maybe she thought I was being insensitive to her precious Professor Nelsen.

It was a very interesting phenomenon though, so I continued blowing my nose at regular intervals of every 5 seconds just to see her whip around again and glare at me.

She did this every single time I blew my nose.  I wondered why she couldn't feel the wind at her bare back when she did this.

I tried to give her a "stare cock" look back, something like the look the girl gives the pink shirt guy in the subway in My Sassy Girl but it failed because I started giggling and the effect tak jadi.

And there ends the story of Kaftan Girl.

Stay tuned tomorrow (or the next time I'm bored) for the story of Stompy, the Amazing Loud Voiced Girl who likes to walk around the dorm nude.



Comments (18) |

with love. <3
[Saturday, December 11, 2004 6:25 pm (aud001)]

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Friday, December 10, 2004

I am damn industrious.

WAH LAU WEH I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW HARDWORKING I AM.

I just finished a two page paper for Econs in an hour.

I know lah, this is nothing to shout about but seeing as to how much I detest Econs and literally have to drag myself to class every week, this is an amazing achievement indeed.

Usually it takes me bloody 3-4 hours to do one bloody Econs case study.

I don't think I have been this hardworking or efficient since I was 15 and sitting for PMR.

*pats self on back*

My motivation this time is knowing I have an 8 page paper on the topic of the oppression of intellectuals in Communist China and the fact that finals is next Friday so I cannot afford to waste any more time.

The only reason I am so calm now is the soothing effect of eating half a box of Oreos.  It's a drug.

Okay, back to work before I lose any more momentum.  Just had to blog to gloat.



Comments (6) |

with love. <3
[Friday, December 10, 2004 10:52 pm (aud001)]

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Monday, December 06, 2004

Mou Liu and Gross

In conjunction with our procrastination, Beth and I talk to each other online, even though we're seated 5 feet apart from each other.

This is by far the strangest and sickest conversation we've ever come up with.  (And it's long too, so bear with me.)

audreythecute: my hip hurts
audreythecute: its gonna be bruised tmr
Singin2TheOcean: meh, you'll be alright
audreythecute: how unkind
Singin2TheOcean: i lurve ju!
audreythecute: who is ju?
audreythecute: hahaahahahah
Singin2TheOcean: that's slang for "you," antler rot
Singin2TheOcean: hahaha
audreythecute: from i love u to antler rot
audreythecute: what a jump
Singin2TheOcean: hahahaha
Singin2TheOcean: it's a term of endearment
audreythecute: hahahahah okay..but ur hairy butt from now on
Singin2TheOcean: that's worse
audreythecute: another term of endearment
audreythecute: it means i love u more
Singin2TheOcean: doubtful
Singin2TheOcean: oh what a night . . .
Singin2TheOcean: late december back in 63 . . .
audreythecute: hate ur evil laugh
Singin2TheOcean: i didn't know i had one
Singin2TheOcean: i think i've developed it after living with you
audreythecute: ....
audreythecute: u seem to be quite expert at it though
Singin2TheOcean: well, i've had lots of occasions to use it
Singin2TheOcean: antler rot
Singin2TheOcean: haha
audreythecute: hairy butt
Singin2TheOcean: that's just foul
audreythecute: no its lovely
Singin2TheOcean: riiiiight
audreythecute: i lurve ju, hairy butt
Singin2TheOcean: you know i can come up with much worse things than antler rot
Singin2TheOcean: so don't tempt me
Singin2TheOcean: hahah
Singin2TheOcean: toe fungus
audreythecute: hahahahahaah im sticking with hairy butt
Singin2TheOcean: genital herpes
Singin2TheOcean: hahahahahahaa
Singin2TheOcean: i doubt i could say that one aloud
audreythecute: yellow discharge
Singin2TheOcean: i hope you throw up your oreos
Singin2TheOcean: vomit eater
audreythecute: u look more nauseous than me
audreythecute: ear shit
audreythecute: hahahahahahah i dunno what its called!
Singin2TheOcean: that doesn't even exist!
Singin2TheOcean: jizz licker
Singin2TheOcean: hahahahahahaaa
audreythecute: pubic dandruff
Singin2TheOcean: pubic lice eater
Singin2TheOcean: pubic hair tupee wearer
audreythecute: foreskin flakes
Singin2TheOcean: foreskin rash rubber
audreythecute: nipple discharge
Singin2TheOcean is away at 0:32:51.
audreythecute: i got another gross term
Singin2TheOcean: great
Singin2TheOcean: :-\
Singin2TheOcean: i'm soooooo excited
Singin2TheOcean: woo
audreythecute: hahahah u'll love it
audreythecute: nostril pus
Singin2TheOcean: anal drainage
Singin2TheOcean: YLiMe118: usedTamponEater
audreythecute: hey this is a family affair!
audreythecute: no outsiders
Singin2TheOcean: boo for you
Singin2TheOcean: cocksucking ball licker
audreythecute: ok thats just crude
audreythecute: lacks class and imagination
Singin2TheOcean: shadup la
audreythecute: haha ok i need to get back to work
Singin2TheOcean: it's cold in here
audreythecute: really? its fine to me
Singin2TheOcean: you are a freak
audreythecute: you have a hairy ass
Singin2TheOcean: have you been looking, foreskin flakes?
audreythecute: no but they were dropping all over the room
Singin2TheOcean: you really are truly foul
Singin2TheOcean: foreskin scabs
Singin2TheOcean: haha
Singin2TheOcean: hahahahahahahaa
Singin2TheOcean: i see you thinking over there
audreythecute: testicle fluff
Singin2TheOcean: ball sack shaver
Singin2TheOcean: read what i sent you, numbnuts
Singin2TheOcean: that isn't as bad
Singin2TheOcean: it just doesn't sound as bad
Singin2TheOcean: pubic lice and foreskin flake sandwhich with jizz on top
Singin2TheOcean: JIZZ!
Singin2TheOcean: JIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Singin2TheOcean: cum, if you like
Singin2TheOcean: hahah
audreythecute: cum on ur face
Singin2TheOcean: jizz on your sheets
Singin2TheOcean: mwahahahahaaa
Singin2TheOcean: especially the pink fuzzy one
audreythecute: nooooooooo
Singin2TheOcean: it'd get all matted and nasty
Singin2TheOcean: hahahahaahaha
audreythecute: period blood on ur sheets!
Singin2TheOcean: period blood on your face
Singin2TheOcean: ugggggggggh
Singin2TheOcean: alright, it's time for a truce
Singin2TheOcean: i need to do work
audreythecute: ok me too
Singin2TheOcean: or i'll be up until 6
audreythecute: want a cookie?
Singin2TheOcean: no
audreythecute: it doesnt have cum on it
Singin2TheOcean: fuck your cookies
Singin2TheOcean: what's the white stuff inside then?
Singin2TheOcean: hehehehee
audreythecute: discharge



Comments (14) |

with love. <3
[Monday, December 06, 2004 1:51 am (aud001)]

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